Halloween is Thursday, and my 8-year-old is going to be Spider-Man… again.
I love that he’s not wasting money on a costume destined for one-time use, but now it’s getting comical: This is the third year he’s going to wear the same full-body costume, now with sleeves about 4 inches too short and legs only reaching mid-calf.
To add to the humor, it has a full head mask, with mesh eyes for seeing and nostril and mouth holes. After years of tugging at it, though, there are two runs—one up from each nostril to his forehead—that look like bright white “booger streaks” against the red and black!
But he doesn’t care.
What’s ironic is that whenever he wears it, if someone calls him Spider-Man, he lifts his mask and says, “I’m not really Spider-Man; it’s just me.”
He is 100% confident in who he is and exactly how he wants to show up; sometimes he just wants to show up as Spider-Man.
Why is that so hard for grown-ups?
As we go about our day, we often feel pressured to wear figurative masks that fit the expectations of others or shield us from judgment.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- The Happy Mask – How often do we put on a smile even when everything feels like it’s falling apart? Maybe it’s to reassure others, or maybe it’s to convince ourselves that we’re okay.
- The All-Knowing Mask – Especially at work, we feel the need to project that we know everything, even if we're struggling. Leaders may hide insecurities to avoid appearing weak, even though asking for help can build more trust and connection.
- The Go-With-the-Flow Mask – This mask lets us pretend we’re on board with decisions that go against our values or better judgment. It’s easier to play along, but over time, it erodes our authenticity and sense of purpose.
- The People-Pleaser Mask – Many of us hide our true opinions to avoid conflict. This mask can help navigate social waters temporarily, but we risk losing our voice and respect in the process.
- The Invisibility Mask – Sometimes we wear this mask when we’re unsure of our place or purpose. We blend in, afraid to stand out or make waves. But in hiding, we lose opportunities to add value and be seen for who we truly are.
We’re Spider-Man, but no longer able to pull back the mask to reveal who’s underneath.
I know that soon enough, my son will likely decide he’s outgrown Spider-Man—both the costume and the phase. He’ll be ready to move on to something new and exciting.
And that happens to us too.
At different times in life, we realize that the career, industry, or role we once aspired to and have been living out has lost its luster. We’ve outgrown the suit, the novelty has worn off, and we start to imagine the next version of ourselves.
One with greater purpose and impact.
Occasionally that shift happens naturally. The stars align, and a promising new opportunity practically knocks on the door.
I had one of those pivotal, serendipitous moments casually chatting with someone at a wedding reception 15 years ago, with no personal motive in mind. Out of the blue, that conversation led to my first consulting opportunity—a chance that would eventually lead me out of academia and onto the career path I’m on today.
It was exciting and terrifying all at the same time: one golden opportunity, surrounded by an entire sea of unknowns.
It was also the best professional leap of faith I ever took.
But other times, there’s no such “aha” moment. Instead, we may feel a subtle urge, an itch, or even an overt push saying, “It’s time to make a change—now.”
But to what? And how?
That’s exactly what we discover in my Quantum Leap program, designed for executives in transition, to help them uncover what new superpowers they have or want to develop, and find the right role that lets them put those superpowers to use.
It’s about creating a career that doesn’t require a mask. One where you can serve a greater purpose in a way that’s professionally, personally, and financially fulfilling — showing up as YOURSELF.
So, as Halloween approaches and costumes abound, think about the masks you’ve been wearing. Which ones still serve a purpose, and which might be hiding your best self?
And remember: if someone calls you Spider-Man, don’t be afraid to pull back the mask and say with a smile, “It’s just me!”
