Uh-Oh, Dost Thou Protest Too Much?

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Every weekend I take my eight-year-old son grocery shopping. He thinks it’s fun and he’s a good little helper, but there’s always one aisle where we have the same argument every week, like Groundhog Day.

 

It happens in the baking aisle, and he wants to buy a box of strawberry Jell-O powder to make at home.

Normally, I would say yes to something so small—especially since there’s a sugar-free variety—but I have given in to that request three times over the years, and the same thing happens every time:

I buy it, he’s excited to make it, then it sits in the refrigerator and he never eats it.

Or at best, he’ll enthusiastically squirt a shot of ReddiWhip on top, eat the whipped cream off of it, and leave the Jell-O.

I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but I have managed to deduce the pattern afoot.

This past weekend, as expected, walking up aisle four, like clockwork, it began:

            “Mom, can we get Jell-O? Please?”

            “No. We have this discussion all the time. It’s always the same—I buy it because you promise you’re going to eat it, but you never                  do. Let’s find something you actually like.”

            “But I DO like it! Please? I promise I’ll eat it this time! I pinky swear! Come on Mom, please? Let’s Pinky Promise! I won’t break                  my promise this time, REALLY! Pleeeeze?”

I also know that he insists on the last word, so there’s no point in continuing to argue with him.

So with Queen Gertrude’s famous line from Hamlet looping through my mind (“The [child] doth protest too much, methinks”), I roll my eyes, bite my tongue, and press on to aisle five, waiting for him to get distracted by something else and for the badgering to come to an end so we can resume our otherwise pleasant outing.

When You Oversell Yourself

 

We laugh at kids when they go into full “Jell-O negotiation mode,” but how often do we do the same thing without realizing it? How often do we keep talking about something in such a way that we actually sabotage our own goals?

Maybe it’s impatience. The idea is so important to us, we push for an answer before the other person has time to think, research, or explore alternatives. Instead of persuasion, it feels like pressure.

Maybe it’s nerves. We feel unprepared or out of our league, so we babble—repeating ourselves, over-explaining, and talking in circles. People can hear the insecurity. Worse, they can smell it. (And it doesn’t smell like Jell-O.)

Maybe we’ve already made our point but aren’t convinced it landed. So we keep re-explaining, trying to make it more compelling—until we sound like we’re trying to convince ourselves more than the other person.

Or maybe we’re in a sales meeting or job interview and the pressure is on to close the deal. What started as genuine enthusiasm starts to sound like desperation.

How to Stop the Runaway Train

 

So how do we keep ourselves from hitting that verbal point of no return?

 

Here are a few resources to provide you with the tools to speak with confidence (whether or not you feel it inside) and have the impact you're looking for.

 

In The Expert’s Showcase podcast with Ann Carden, Ann and I talked about the power of personal branding and communication—and how to make sure those sabotaging habits don’t telegraph the wrong message.

 

 

This is also a major focus in my Quantum Leap program—helping leaders who are looking for their next exciting career role, to master the art and science of strategic networking, interviewing, influence, and executive presence. 

 

It's not enough to be a great candidate; you have to make them realize you're the obvious choice. If you’re looking for strategies to ensure your confidence shines without crossing into arrogance and overkill, visit QuantumLeap-Coaching.com to learn more.

 

And for those of you who love deep-diving into leadership influence, messaging, and persuasion, don’t forget to check out the new AlphaWhisperers: Genesis podcast mini-series.

Janet Salazar and I break down exactly what makes people lean in—or tune out—and how you can command the room, connect with your audience, and close the deal when in high-stakes negotiations at the highest levels.

ALPHAWHISPERERS: Genesis is now available on the following platforms:

The key to influence isn’t just in how passionately you advocate for something. It’s in knowing when to stop talking so people have the space and time to say yes.

Even if that means walking away from the Jell-O aisle.

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