I was speaking at the Podfest Global conference and, while walking the exhibit hall floor, I saw someone wearing a T-shirt that made me laugh out loud.
It said:
“You can pick my brain right after you pick your payment method.”
The thing is, I love to help people. I love sharing wisdom, experiences, insights, expertise, and more.
As I often share with clients, the best thing about podcasting—whether as a host or a guest—is that it allows you to have a positive impact by sharing your experience and insights with a broad audience, AND it’s a fun, easy way to build your personal brand as a thought leader.
I want to help as many people as possible, which is why I have:
- Been podcasting for years, with over 200 episodes of my Speaking to Influence podcast, my new AlphaWhisperers: Genesis mini series, and guested on tons of other people’s shows
- hosted countless free webinars and YouTube/LinkedIn Live sessions,
- written over 500 blog posts and articles
- created hundreds of hours of free video clips across social media
- Given a TEDx Talk that 7,000,000 people have watched
- Provided free tools like my career transition readiness self assessment
and beyond—all without charging a dime.
Generosity Builds Social Capital
Generosity isn’t just about being kind—it’s a powerful tool for influence. It builds social currency, the goodwill and trust earned through selfless acts of value. Whether it’s sharing knowledge, offering connections, or providing support, giving enriches both the giver and the receiver. The more you give, the more you gain.
But there’s a fine line between generosity and being taken advantage of.
When Generosity Meets Entitlement
The double-edged sword of being recognized as both a thought leader and a generous person is that some people will overstep boundaries—especially if you don’t set any. They may blur the line between respectful appreciation and an entitled expectation of free access to your expertise.
It can show up in many ways, e.g.:
- Companies that ask you to speak for free because “we never pay for speakers, but it will be great exposure for you” (even though all their employees are being paid to attend your session).
- People who previously declined to invest in formal coaching but continue to send emails or LinkedIn messages asking for extensive, personalized advice.
- “Quick questions” that turn into full-fledged strategy sessions disguised as friendly chats.
That’s when I want to start wearing that T-shirt.
Creative Solutions: The “Alternative Currency” Approach
Of course, not every organization that wants my expertise for free is trying to take advantage of me.
Some genuinely have limited or nonexistent budgets, such as smaller nonprofits or employee resource groups (ERGs) like women’s networks or LGBTQ+ groups.
I love supporting these causes, so instead of immediately saying no, I offer a list of “alternative currency” options—ways they can provide value in exchange for my time and expertise.
For example, they can:
✅ Have 10 people leave a 5-star rating and review on my podcast.
✅ Purchase a set number of my books to give to their members.
✅ Introduce me to two people who might be interested in my coaching or paid speaking engagements.
✅ Connect me with their CHRO or other executives in charge of training and development.
✅ Have a leadership team member create a 30-second video testimonial about the value they received.
✅ Provide a 50-word testimonial for my LinkedIn profile, website, or marketing materials.
More importantly, they’re also an indicator of whether the person truly values what I bring to the table, without needing a big budget.
Because here’s what’s telling: if they reject every option, offer no creative solutions of their own, and still expect me to give freely of my time and expertise, then it’s clear they aren’t interested in a real partnership.
They just want to check a box, maximize their benefit, and move on.
That’s when I say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” They can keep their “great exposure” opportunity, and I’ll save my service for people who genuinely appreciate it.
Generosity with Boundaries = Sustainable Impact
Generosity is a funny thing. We all need to practice it, and often we need to push ourselves to be more generous in different areas of life.
True leadership requires generosity.
But true leadership also requires knowing when to say “no.”
Being generous doesn’t mean being a doormat. It means setting expectations that allow both parties to benefit. It means recognizing when your giving is being met with appreciation versus when it’s being taken for granted.
At the end of the day, influence isn’t about power—it’s about relationships. The more you invest in providing genuine value while maintaining clear boundaries, the more trust you cultivate, the more loyalty you inspire, and the more opportunities come your way.
Because when generosity is given the right way, you’ll gain more than you ever thought possible.
