At 8:00 AM this morning, I was scheduled to deliver a high-stakes virtual presentation to a client team in the Netherlands.
This wasn’t an off-the-shelf talk I could deliver in my sleep; I had spent weeks not just crafting the content, but building the experience. I was just about ready.
Until I wasn’t.
Yesterday—less than 24 hours before showtime—my internet went down. No warning. No storm. No rogue backhoe tearing up a neighborhood cable. Just… silence.
And when did our illustrious provider say a technician could come out to investigate?
Friday.
To refresh your memory, yesterday was Monday.
Not only did I have a full day of meetings on the docket, but I also still had a few things to update on my presentation.
And to seal the deal, the “MiFi” wasn’t stable enough, and my hotspot on my phone wouldn’t connect, and MS Teams was demanding system updates (which require internet access) or I wouldn’t be able to log in for the presentation…
Cue the primal scream… (and slew of professionally inappropriate emojis).
This Was Not a Drill
Technology fails are always inconvenient, but sometimes the timing is so catastrophic that it feels like the universe has launched a personal attack.
When everything is on the line and your plan goes up in smoke, that’s the real test—not of your PowerPoint skills, but of your leadership character.
In moments like this, the instinct to explode—to take your frustration out on anyone who crosses your path—is strong. Believe me, I had some choice words on the tip of my tongue.
But here’s the truth: That kind of emotional outburst may provide a fleeting sense of catharsis, but it almost always leaves even more destruction in its wake…which will be an even bigger mess for you to clean up later.
The real question becomes: Can you stay in control when everything around you is falling apart?
Why Staying Calm Under Pressure Matters
Leadership and “executive presence” isn’t about keeping your cool when things go according to plan. It’s about grace under fire.
When crisis hits, here’s what staying calm allows you to do:
- Build trust and stability: People follow leaders who project confidence and control, especially when the environment feels unstable. Your calm becomes their calm.
- Maintain decision-making clarity: Stress clouds judgment. Staying grounded helps you avoid decisions you’ll regret – whether ten minutes or ten months—later.
- Set the emotional tone: Emotions are contagious. If the leader is spinning out, the team follows suit. But when you regulate your energy, you help everyone else do the same.
- Model expectations: How do you want or expect your people to handle crises as they rise to higher positions? Hint: They’ll take their cues from your example, not your instructions.
So How Do You Actually Stay Calm?
Let’s be real—”just breathe” can sound a bit trite when the stakes are high and your blood pressure is climbing.
But there are practical strategies that help you get a grip before you lose it:
- Self-talk that grounds you: Remind yourself—aloud if needed—of what is and isn’t in your control. “I can’t fix the internet, but I can find an alternative location.”
- Release the energy—safely: Do push-ups, squats, or jumping jacks. Scream into a pillow. Punch the mattress. Burn off the cortisol so it doesn’t burn you out. Then let yourself talk to others.
- Sit quietly and breathe: Find a peaceful space, turn on calming music, and try box breathing (inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4). (Hey, I said it might sound trite… I didn’t say it wasn’t still good advice!).
- Mindfulness and centering practices: Meditate, pray, do some yoga stretches, do a full-body scan to identify where you’re carrying the tension so you can consciously let it go.
The Debrief: Don’t Skip It
Once the dust settles, resist the urge to simply move on. There’s gold in the chaos—if you’re willing to mine it.
Ask yourself and/or your team:
- What actually caused the problem? (NOT to blame, flame or shame anyone.)
- What worked in how we responded—and what didn’t?
- What contingency plans can we put in place so this doesn’t derail us again?
- How did we show up as a team under pressure?
Debriefing transforms frustration into growth. That’s leadership maturity in action.
And In My Case?
Once I accepted that I couldn’t will the Wi-Fi back into existence yesterday, I went to the library for public wifi, and started texting everyone I knew locally asking if they had an extra room with internet I could borrow for a few hours early this morning.
Thankfully, a kind neighbor offered her unused home office. (Note to self: Send Edible Arrangements thank-you fruit basket.)
Was scrambling around town before a major presentation ideal? Of course not.
Did it work? Miraculously, yes.
But most importantly, I was proud of the fact that I didn’t let my emotions dictate my words or actions.
I stepped out, calmed down, made a plan, and got it done.
Final Thought
Everyone faces moments where they want to shoot the messenger (and everyone else). But true leaders learn to hear the message, pause, and respond—not react.
That’s a common topic clients choose to work through with me during our executive coaching sessions. If you’ve ever found yourself mid-crisis thinking, “This can’t be happening,” just know: You’re not alone.
The more we train ourselves to stay steady when the unexpected hits, the more others can count on us when it matters most.
If you'd like help cultivating a healthier leadership reflex under pressure, drop me a line here. I'd love to hear from you.
Because explosive problems don’t require explosive reactions—they require thoughtful leaders.
