“I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.”
—Thomas Jefferson, inscribed in the Jefferson Memorial
That quote first stopped me in my tracks on a high school field trip to Washington DC. It still resonates just as powerfully with me today, particularly as Independence Day celebrations approach this week.
It isn’t just poetic marble etching—it’s a challenge. And not just on the global, national or political scale – it’s a personal challenge to ask where all sorts of tyrannies are holding us back, large and small, overt and covert.
Most dangerous, in many ways, are the self-imposed ones.
Which begs the question: When will we finally declare our individual independence from them?
As leaders—whether in boardrooms, classrooms, or living rooms—we’re often called to model patience, professionalism, and respect for structure.
That sometimes means following rules or protocols we may not love, like stopping at red lights late at night on an empty road, navigating inefficient workflows, or accepting more significant setbacks like salary freezes after a tough financial year or executing a strategic plan that we strongly disagree with.
It’s easy to rationalize:
- “That’s just how it is.”
- “We need to be team players.”
- “The timing (still) isn’t right.”
But eventually, a line gets crossed. Like our Founding Fathers—and Mothers—there comes a moment when we realize: enough is enough.
That’s when we must stake your claim.
Sometimes that flag gets planted in external soil—like advocating for a raise or promotion, lobbying to change company policies, or standing up to toxic dynamics at work.
But more often, the tyranny is internal. Fear. Self-doubt. Perfectionism. That little voice whispering, “Who do you think you are?”
The irony is, those voices usually sound like they’re trying to protect us:
- “Don’t rock the boat.”
- “Don’t get your hopes up.”
- “Don’t make a fool of yourself.”
But the truth? Playing small doesn’t serve anyone. Not your team. Not your mission. Not yourself.
That’s why declaring independence—metaphorically or otherwise—requires three critical steps:
1. Admit it’s time for a change.
This is the quiet revolution. The moment when you whisper to yourself, “This isn’t okay anymore.”
Maybe it's realizing you’ve been over-functioning and under-recognized at work for too long.
Maybe it's admitting your lifestyle (nutrition, work/life balance, relationships, etc.) isn’t sustainable.
Maybe it’s acknowledging that you've been playing the role of the “nice one” or the “strong one” who takes care of everyone else, but nobody else is looking out for you in return.
Whether it’s personal, professional, or both—this moment of truth is uncomfortable. It’s the kind of discomfort I often help leaders name and navigate in our executive coaching sessions, because clarity is the first spark of transformation.
2. Break inertia and take the first step.
You don’t have to overhaul your life in one day. But you do have to move.
Book the meeting. Make the call. Sign up for the class. Ask the question. Raise your hand—literally or figuratively.
This moment is your own Boston Tea Party (preferably with less property damage).
- One client finally spoke up in a meeting instead of always sending side emails after the discussion was done.
- Another scheduled an uncomfortable talk with a senior executive after the official semi-annual review, to get a timeline down on record for exactly what performance metrics would be necessary for a promotion by a certain date.
- A third simply started speaking in a stronger, more confident tone during meetings and presentations instead of shrinking into his chair and mumbling, after realizing, “I worked hard on this data; it’s important and I want people to hear and understand it.”
The context varied, but the shift was the same: from passive to proactive.
From “what if” to “let’s go.”
Dare I say: From self-denying to self-respecting.
3. Follow through with clarity, honesty, and diplomacy.
Taking a stand isn’t just about the fact that you’re speaking up—it’s how you make your point.
For starters, if you’re going to risk rocking the boat, make sure your message is clear, your intentions and reasons are transparent, and your ask is undeniable.
But at the same time, let’s be clear:
- Assertiveness is not (necessarily) aggression.
- Honesty isn’t hostility.
- “Authenticity” is not just unfiltered, raw emotion.
You can stand firm in your values without burning bridges (unless, of course, the bridge needs to go). That’s where expert leadership communication skills become essential.
For example, of equal value is the ability to acknowledge the other person’s competing priorities, pressures, and limitations – whether internal or externally imposed.
Leading with emotional intelligence and tact (NOT to be confused with “sugar-coating” or its many synonyms) will always get you much closer to your goal.
This is what we practice in executive coaching every day.
Because there’s no ROI without follow-through. Your voice is your most powerful tool—so make sure you’re using it to get results, not just to vent.
This Independence Day, I invite you to write your own Declaration of Independence:
- What are you no longer willing to accept/tolerate?
- What truth will you finally tell—to yourself, or to others?
- What is the one step you will take to claim your voice, your space, your future?
Because if you can’t lead yourself through hard decisions, how can you ever expect to lead others—or expect them to follow?
Take the pen. Open your mouth. Stake your claim.
Declare your independence.
