Sometimes the seemingly simplest questions are the hardest to answer.
Over the last decade or so, the question “What’s your WHY?” has become increasingly popular, especially after Simon Sinek’s 2009 TEDx talk “How Great Leaders Inspire Action” went viral, followed shortly thereafter by his bestselling book, Start with Why.
While his talk is primarily focused on how to inspire others to take action, whether leading a team or writing a marketing campaign, a more challenging task is often figuring out how to inspire ourselves to take action.
We look at overwhelming to-do lists and overflowing calendars, and think, “What do you mean, why?”
- Because I have to.
- Because my boss/client/other asked for it.
- Because I’m the mom.
- Because I need to pay my mortgage.
- Because it’s (supposedly) good for me.
- Because others expect me to.
Those are reasons why we complete tasks… but it’s a passionless existence to simply put one foot in front of the other ad infinitum.
It reminds me of a series of Dunkin Donuts ads in the 1980s with Fred the Baker who got up at the crack of dawn every day, trudging his way to work, muttering to himself over and over, “Time to make the donuts…” (Remember him?)
But at the end of each commercial, there’s a picture of him with a smile serving others in the store, and you realize Fred’s why: Because it brings him joy to make people happy.
That’s his driving force.
Identifying your driving force—distinct from your obligations—is a powerful point of clarity.
There are six core human needs that everyone shares, regardless of culture, gender, generation, or other factors. Tony Robbins defines them as:
- Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
- Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
- Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
- Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness, belonging or union with an individual, group, etc.
- Growth: personal development; an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
- Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others, not for the credit, just to make a difference
We need them all, but each person is primarily driven by the need to meet one or two above all others. You can take this quiz to see which is on top for you.
The beauty is that none of these needs are better or worse than any other. The reality is that we all need all six areas, but at different times we'll be driven by different needs. For example:
- if you're in a very happy relationship, your need for love and connection is already being met, so you'll probably be driven by another need.
- if you feel like you could do your job in your sleep, your need for certainty may be fully met, so you may be driven by the need for growth and seek something that will challenge you, or even by the need for uncertainty/variety to rescue you from boredom!
Understanding your primary driving force is essential. It shapes how we communicate, influences our leadership style, and ultimately determines our satisfaction in both personal and professional lives.
If your core needs aren't being met, especially in the workplace, it may be a sign that it’s time to explore new opportunities that align better with what you truly need.
If you’re already in the process of seeking a new role or even just contemplating a transition, identifying opportunities that will satisfy those critical needs is crucial for ensuring long-term happiness and fulfillment.
This is exactly why, in my “Quantum Leap: Executive Transition Coaching Program,” one of the first steps is helping you get crystal-clear on what you actually WANT and NEED in your next career opportunity. This clarity ensures that you don’t simply end up dealing with the same dissatisfactions in a new environment.
Remember, all driving forces are valid. What’s most important is being aware of what yours is (or are), to help guide your actions and choices so you can live a life of greater happiness and fulfillment every day, personally and professionally.
If you're realizing that it might be time to find a new opportunity that aligns with those driving needs, providing the fulfillment you've been searching for, click here to share a bit about your goals and challenges and learn more about joining me for a Quantum Leap!
Next week is the Democratic National Convention, and as always, I will be writing daily APOLITICAL analyses of some interesting take aways from the speakers with regard to lessons pertaining to leadership communication, executive presence and influence, both the “do's” and the “don'ts,” from which we can all learn, regardless of political interest or affiliation.
