The Fine Line Between Laughing With Us vs. At Us
When Katie Couric interviewed Billy Crystal years ago, she asked him a seemingly obvious question:
“Were you the class clown in school?”
“No,” he replied. “I was the class comedian.”
“What’s the difference?” she asked.
“The class clown’s the guy who runs out on the football field naked. The class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.”
While I’m certainly not recommending either role, it does highlight an important distinction:
The difference between having people laugh with us vs. at us.
The Fear of Sacrificing Gravitas
Many of us hesitate to incorporate humor or fun into our professional lives because we fear it will make us seem less competent, or less authoritative.
In other words, we may worry that levity will dilute our executive presence.
And that’s a shame—because people crave joy in both their personal and professional lives.
The Science of Fun: Why It Works at Work
Think back to when you were in school. Your favorite teachers likely made learning fun. Did they lack gravitas? No. If anything, they were the educators you respected most.
The same applies in the workplace. Fun (smiling, laughing) triggers dopamine, the “I want more” hormone, which:
✅ Boosts creativity and productivity
✅ Improves memory and learning
✅ Builds positive associations between speaker (you) and listener (your team).
And the more positive mental and emotional connections you build with others, the stronger the bonds become.
A Case Study in Confidence + Competence + FUN
A few years ago, I landed a 10-minute meeting with the CFO of a global insurance firm.
This was my one shot to win a major coaching contract. In just 10 minutes.
After initial pleasantries, he asked, “It’s your company? And you do all the coaching and deliverables? How do you manage that and run the back end?”
My brain calculated in two seconds:
- He doesn’t actually care about the logistics of my business.
- I only have nine more minutes.
- My job is to prove I can play at his level.
So, I gave him a playful, confident little smile and said:
“I’m really good.”
He blinked… then burst out laughing.
“I like it!” he said. “Okay, so anyway…”—and just like that, we got back to business.
With three little words, aligned with delivery that had just the right balance of levity and gravitas, I showed him I could confidently lead him in a conversation that would provide value and be enjoyable in the process.
Oh, and yes, I got the contract.
The Same Applies in Job Interviews
When interviewing for a job, the hiring manager isn’t just assessing your skills. They’re asking themselves:
“Would I want to work with this person every day?”
You don’t need to be the class clown or the class comedian, but you do need to show some personality.
It may seem small, but when you’re in competition with hundreds of other competent leaders, the ability to show that you are the kind of person who will add a degree of positive energy to the team – and not suck the life out of it – can be the tipping point in your favor.
Finding that balance is one of the core issues we work on in my Quantum Leap program for executives looking for their next amazing career opportunity.
Try It: Your Challenge for Fun at Work Day
This Friday, the 28th, is National Fun at Work Day.
So, I challenge you: Take one small step to bring a little fun into your workplace, whether virtual, hybrid or in person.
Here are some easy ideas:
Bake (or buy) brownies
Bring balloons to a meeting (Bonus: Have everyone inhale helium and talk like Munchkins!)
Play upbeat music during a stretch break
Share a funny or inspiring story
Pass around a great YouTube or TikTok video
Offer a fun incentive (e.g., “If we wrap up Project X by 5 PM, lunch is on me tomorrow!”)
Why It Matters
Remember: Fun at work isn’t about goofing off. It:
✅ Boosts morale
✅ Reduces burnout
✅ Increases productivity
✅ Improves collaboration, engagement and team cohesion
The leader who delivers those results is the kind of leader I want to work for.
Podcasts: The Perfect Platform for Mixing Fun and Authority
Want another example of blending authority and fun? Tune in to my interview with Dr. Obed Owusu Yeboah on The King Obed Podcast, where we talk about speaking with both authority and adaptability to maximize influence.
Did we have fun in the conversation? What does it look like to you?
You can check it out on YouTube and Spotify.
What’s one way you bring fun into your workday? Hit reply and let me know!
