One of the most common complaints I hear is, “I hate the sound of my own voice on recordings! Can you help me with that?”
It's natural to feel this way.
When we speak, we hear ourselves “in stereo” — both from inside our heads and from the sound coming out of our mouths. This makes our voices sound richer and fuller to us.
But when we hear a recording, we only get the external input, which sounds thinner, scratchier, or flatter. No wonder it feels weird! Here’s a little video I made a while back explaining this phenomenon.
So, can you change your voice?
The answer is yes. With practice, you can modify how you sound and, ideally, learn to like it more – or at least like the way people respond to you when you learn to control it.
A great (and funny) example of what’s possible in vocal control is in this scene of the TV show The Nanny. Fran (played by Fran Drescher) accidentally clears out her nasal, whiny voice after eating too much wasabi, revealing a bell-tone, melodic alto underneath. It's a hilarious demonstration of how different we can sound by adjusting just a few things.
If you think of your voice as your instrument, it’s important to consider what you were born with. A voice like a flute will never sound like a trombone, or vice-versa, and that’s okay! But you can control how well you learn to master playing it – the high notes, low notes, and everything in between and either instrument can be used to play classical music, jazz, or a Sousa march.
In the same way Fran Drescher learned to control her voice to reduce her natural nasality, I did the opposite in my TEDx talk when I added nasality to imitate her … doing Darth Vader. (You’ll have to see/listen for yourself!)
And there are many other elements of your voice you can adapt while still being authentically you.
Just because you grew up playing your vocal instrument one way (think of your default speaking manner as “pop” or “jazz” ), that doesn't mean you can't decide to try speaking in a more “classical” or “country” manner (don’t be too literal here) if that better suits your message or audience. It's all about using the right style for the right audience to get them to say yes.
Six Vocal Qualities You Can Modify
If you're interviewing for a job, networking, doing podcast or conference panel interviews, or other opportunities to make a first impression (all of which we cover in my Quantum Leap program), the sound of your voice can have a significant impact on your success. The question is, is it the influence you want it to have?
Here are six vocal qualities you can, and (truthfully must) learn to modify. The key to all of these is knowing when and how to vary each of these qualities for greatest effect. Being monotonous in any category inevitably makes people tune out.
1. Tonality – Watch patterns like upspeak, where it sounds like every sentence is a question because your pitch rises on the last word every time. Be sure to end sentences with a vocal period, letting your voice drop, so you sound intentional and confident.
2. Pace – Speaking too quickly can sound nervous, while too slowly can feel dull, sleepy or indifferent. Varying your pace keeps listeners engaged.
3. Volume – Nobody wants to be yelled at, but nobody wants to work that hard to hear you either. The right volume for each respective point builds credibility.
4. Smile! – Did you know people can hear if you’re smiling even if they can’t see you? The smile muscles change the vocal muscles and your words sound happier and more encouraging.
5. Articulation – Clear speech sounds professional, confident and approachable; mumbling sounds sloppy, but over-enunciation can sound like you’re scolding someone.
6. Pausing – Strategic pauses emphasize key points and prevent you from sounding rushed. Make sure you’re not speaking in run-on sentences with nowhere to take a breath!
Is The Way You Use Your Voice Serving You Well?
Of course, you don't have to change anything. I’m not suggesting you try to sound like me or anyone else. But I do challenge you to consider how many of your current voice patterns you use because you are consciously choosing them versus “it's just kinda what I sound like when I talk.”
Most patterns are habits, and unconscious ones at that. So why not “audit” your voice?
Listen to a recording of yourself from a conference call, for example. Does your voice project the qualities you want — like confidence, approachability, authority? Or are you unknowingly sounding anxious, impatient, or unsure?
For example, I just had a great conversation with Obed Yeboah on the “King Obed Podcast” about mastering the Three C’s of influence: Command the room, Connect with the audience, and Close the deal.
But knowing that I was speaking to an international audience, I was mindful to slow down my pace and articulate just a bit more carefully, so as not to let my Jersey Italian default speed take over – I would have lost half of my audience in the first minute alone!
So, what’s one aspect of how you use your voice you’d like to improve, and why?
